Blog #13 Do we really care?

Is it better to inaccurate drug offenders than to put them in rehabilitation?

Well let’s see take the average crack head let’s call him Joe.  He is busted for Methamphetamine use.  He goes to court; by this being his first time convicted Joe gets 1-5 years for possession.  He goes to prison, and meets bubba who certainly doesn’t care nor encourages Joe to stay clean.  Joes comes out of jail more confused and discouraged to stay clean because he has not been supported or educated.  Joe goes on a Meth binge, and starts the cycle all over. So how is this scenario working out for us so far?  I consider drug use a disease. Like any disease drug addiction should be treated not covered up like a band-aid.  The problem will always be there and never heal.  I often wonder why diseases like alcoholism, and drug addiction gets a bad stigma, whereas cancer, heart disease get 3 page spreads, color coordinated TV ads, with award winning theme songs, get all the love.  Don’t get me wrong I admire the idea that people are getting on board more for health related illnesses, but we need to stop picking and choosing the disorder that’s in fashion this season.  Anyway back to the topic at hand.  We spend over $20,000 dollars a year to incarcerate drug offenders.  According to Justice Department statistician Allen Beck, drug offenders currently account for nearly 60% of all inmates, as opposed to 25% in 1980.   This is taxpayer money that you and I pay every year.  Now the cost of outpatient methadone treatment is $7,000 per admission. You do the math.  The offenders in most case are young, and at times can be better served by counseling and treatment. Jail time only ensures they remain in the surroundings of crime and drugs that brought them to the court.  Drug treatment, education, job training, housing and family counseling can reach the foundation of their troubles. If you know someone who needs help with a drug addiction call the Drug & Alcohol Treatment Referral National Hot line at: 1-800-662-4357. 

 Source:  Federal Bureau of Prisons, Key Indicators/Strategic Support System, Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, October 199

Blog #12 God bless Miss Mary

When I was a young girl we had our share of people who were mentally ill in the neighborhood.  There was “Troy” who got a hold of some bad PCP in “the Nam” so as a result he talks to some invisible person out loud.  “Jeffery’, who was a chronic kleptomaniac.  He would steal everything and anything that was not nailed down like Lenny on the TV show Good Times.  Hell, he stole some lady’s wig one time then sold it back to her the following week.  (True story, I swear).  

But the most memorable person on my block with a Mental illness was Miss Mary.  She had a nervous break down when I was 11 years old.  Miss Mary never came outside with anything on but a silk slip and some hair rollers.  The rumor was that her husband drove her insane, because of infidelity.  All I know is one day she was this stylish, well-spoken diva of a woman, and the next day she was a broken vessel. She was a hot mess.  She would brandish kitchen knives to run us off her lawn.  She even threw a whiskey bottle at her daughter because she refused to water the artificial flowers in the front yard.  Now to a 4^th grader this stuff is kind of scary.  I liked Miss Mary.  She use to give us gum and peppermint from her purse on Sundays and I played “Barbies” with her daughter on several occasions.  As I got older I realized that mental breakdowns could happen to anyone.  Stress, depression, emotional trauma or anxiety can trigger it.   Get help and reducing stress can prevent any outbursts of madness.  What sad id Miss Mary could have gotten help.  She was young too.  Her family turned their backs on her because of the stigma in the Black culture.  “Black people don’t need a therapist” were the words echoed time and time again in my ears as I questioned people like Miss Mary.  

By seeking mental help; my family shunned it thinking it to be a sign of weakness or test of faith.  I’m glad I am learning new things in my major Family Studies, so I can help family members and people like Miss Mary.  Even though I don’t know where she is I know that God is watching over her.  Be healthy yawl…. Smooches.

Blog# 11...Women in the mirror.

I had several classmates ask me where I got the Idea in blog # 9 “50 days to a healthier you”.  Well I’m a big fan of essence magazine, which is a fashion magazine for the African American women although I know plenty of my sisters from another mother have read it and love it.  Anyway, I believe the earlier in the year essence had an article that encourages women to “clean house” so to speak in our lives.  Have a better love life, better finances, health and education.  I’ve always felt that it was a good idea to spring clean not only our homes every year but also our lives.  While cleaning out my closet, I make sure my ties have been rotated.  While I’m dusting the rugs I update my will…etc, etc ……get it?  We as women get so hung up on taking care of everyone else we don’t stop long enough to see about ourselves. Or handle our “Bizness”  I have achieved some of my goal but I still have a long way to go.    My weight loss challenge to my self has sparked weight loss challenges in two of my closest friends so, now when we hit the town we have each other’s back as far as eating well.  No more two pieces and a biscuit, now we graze on grilled chicken with mango salsa and brown rice.  Try it……. it’s fabulous.

If I all could see into the future it would look kind of bleak for me.  Hell, this is the future!  African Americans have more disease, disability, and early death than whites.   As I look in the mirror I see myself getting older but I still look good (thank you very much!)  I see the future of myself from the past decisions I have made.  I’m not a drinker but studies have shown that of you have glasses of red wine a day it helps to boost your immunity, and help prevent bone loss so, I’ll have a glass once a week.  Hell I might even visit a vineyard this year, I’ve always wanted to.  I never smoked but I found it interesting that if you quit smoking after a year that it can reduce your risk of coronary heart disease by half that of a smoker.  That’s pretty good odds I’d say.  Oh and let’s talk obesity, just losing 10% of your current weight can increased energy levels, Lower your cholesterol levels, reduce your blood pressure and reduced aches and pains (yes lawd!), I can defiantly benefit from weight loss.  I’m starting to feel better already. .  So let’s all look in the mirror now for our future selves.  Make your own challenges for your health…….Life is short yawl, don’t take the bus…..walk!....Smooches.


I thought you might enjoy Michael Jackson's "man in the Mirror"

Blog #10 Money and Health go hand in hand

A healthy lifestyle depends on many factors, a balance diet, regular exercise, and a healthy mind. Some of us have a better grip on the latter than others but that’s another blog. Even just the little diet decisions are difficult; I can count on my hands and toes the tough food choice assessments I made while standing in the produce aisle. Some of us struggle with less money in our monthly budget, so in turn we tend to cut corners in areas like food to pay for basic necessities like rent or utilities, food becomes a second priority unfortunately. Influences in a healthy life styles have a lot to do with ones economic status in my opinion. Lots of women struggle with eating well and exercising. Stress also plays a key role in the fight to stay fit. If you are dealing with low pay, higher prices, and poor health, stress takes things to a higher level. I think that women who come from a higher social status take better care of their bodies because of the stress of making ends meet is not on their well tanned shoulders. Some higher economic women have in home chefs (Oprah!) to make balanced meals. They have private trainers to work on problem areas and lipo surgery at their disposal at anytime. The average woman that idolizes these women work a 9-9 with 2 ½ children attached their hips.

Also lower income women experiencing financial stress can be more likely to numb their problems by overdrinking, smoking, and overeating, which causes more health problems. Less cash causes a problem with putting food on the table finding time to exercise while working 2 jobs, and it’s hard to eat better when you have 30 minutes to get from one gig to the other. Also, have you been to the grocery store lately? The affordable food is not on sale it’s the crap and the stuff I wrestle out of my children hands every week. It’s brown hamburger meat and super sugar crispies stuff. And getting FRESH produce every time, forget about it! I got a riddle for you that someone emailed me awhile back.

Why is Tommy in the hospital?

Because he has a bad infection in his leg. 


But why does he have an infection?

Because he has a cut on his leg and it got infected.

But why does he have a cut on his leg? 


Because he was playing in dirty park and there was some jagged steel there that he fell on. 


But why was he playing in a dirty park? 


Because his neighborhood is kind of run down

But why does he live in that neighborhood? 


Because his mom can't afford a nicer place to live. 


But why can't his mom afford a nicer place to live?

Because his Mom is sick and working part time. 


But why is his Mom sick? 


Because she doesn’t live a healthy life style....... it was written a little different but you get the point right?

I don’t propose to change to world with this blog, and being the realist that I am, I know hundreds of women will die every year as a direct result of a unhealthy lifestyle, i.e. smoking, obesity, high cholesterol, lack of decent medical care, and mental illness just to name a few. My prayer is that the women I know and love continue or get started on the road to a better lifestyle.........Life is not a rehearsal yawl, you only get one chance to shine.

BLOG 9 **HELLO MY NAME IS DESI AND I AM A FOODIE***

I an on day 37 of my 50 days to a better me. Well one of my problem areas is eating healthy and exercising regularly. One of my many challenges is to eat better. I am totally addicted to sugar and it’s in everything….lawd help me. In my brain I want eat better. But my body has a different agenda. When I was growing up we did everything centered around food. Hey aunt lill is getting married let’s have cake, cousin Juan got out of prison let’s have ribs, uncle ray had heart surgery, let’s have pie. This is a habit that I have had all my life. It going to take strong will power to change this habit. But I am encouraged. I guess I get bored or overwhelmed because I will go for a period of time where I eat healthy, and then suddenly it's like bam. I grab a handful of candy or buy a bag of chips and just scarf it down. I hope this is not the beginning of an eating disorder. Yikes!

Another challenge for me is that it’s hard to find the motivation and energy to exercise after working 60 hours a week. It is dark when I go to work and it is dark when I get home. With my two kids it sometimes gets hard finding time to fit it in. Not to mention I have a knee problem. By the time the kids get to bed, I'm ready for sleep myself! I realized that when it comes to self-improvement, in particularly about health, I am a big PROCRASTINATOR. Oh and I hate exercise. To remedy this I started parking far from the door so I could walk. I Take an extra long walk with the dog so I can fit in exercise I next five years I hope to be at a healthy weight. I added up how much I would weigh if I continued on the path of laziness. If I gain from 2-5 pound in 5 years I would have gained 10- 25lbs!...OMG! That’s a lot of weight for my frame. Right now I’m not happy but I am on my way to a healthy way of life. My next challenge is to buy less shoes….one day at a time yawl.

#8 The big "M"

As I reach my late 40’s I look forward to certain things.  My boys going to high school then college, having the house to myself, becoming wiser and best of all, no more monthly periods..…Yay! I looo-ve being a woman 21 days of the month but the rest of the days can be gone!  Well, the flip side to having no more periods is I will be experiencing the big “M” or Menopause.  Now from what I’ve read, Menopause it’s not going to be a walk in the park or a 70% off shoe sale at Macys.  No this crossroad is going to be rough ride. I feel kind of cheated because I went though my monthly cycles like a champ, I had a sufficient amount of rug rats, and then I chilled, waiting on my “Meno-prize”.  I think I deserve get some type of incentive prize after 37 years of “Aunt flow”.  I don’t even have to be that special.  A little weight loss like, let’s say 40lbs, Maybe some tropical vacation or better yet NO MORE PERIODS.  I swear this is how I know God has a sense of humor. He gives us period free bliss for the second half, but at a price.  Payment is due in the form of Menopause around 45-55 years old.  Before we talk about how to cope with the big “M” Let’s talk about what Menopause is. 

Menopause is a normal condition that women experience as we age. The term is commonly used to describe any of the changes a woman experiences either just before or after she stops menstruating, marking the end of her reproductive period. Some women go though Perimenopause, which typically begins several years before menopause,  that’s when the ovaries gradually produce less estrogen. 

Menopause is about much more than losing your period.  It’s the end of your fertility, which some ladies may welcome, but for others the end of making babies can be a major bummer.  Many women struggle with emotional symptoms that can be overwhelming.  The of sudden feeling of "old lady" hangs around the neck like a yoke. As a society we must change certain attitudes about menopause. Menopause is not an illness or ailment. It happens to every woman so stigmatizing it is wrong.   Menopause is not the end of your life.  It should be celebrated.

with the use of media outlets organizations like the Red Hot Mamas provides education, support, understanding, hope and optimism through their website. http://www.redhotmamas.org/  They spread  informative info and love for women who need support.  Men can help also be being understanding and supportive to their partners. They can be more understanding of their partners’s sex drive.  Sex could have changed slightly as she experiences a slower loss of testosterone. Also be aware that emotional changes are likely to occur and that they are not to blame for them but that their partner may require extra attention, love and outward expressions of caring more now than ever before.

With more open-minded health-care practitioners and women who see menopause as a natural transition society can change it’s beliefs about menopause.  Who know maybe we will get a female president that will grant my invective prizes......... I'll wait. 

Blog#6 Sex Talk With Grown Friends

Immorality:

Noun

He charged that the overseas press was prone to lies and immorality: wickedness, immoral behavior, badness, evil, vileness, corruption, dishonesty, dishonorableness; sinfulness, ungodliness, unchastity, sin…..sounds like fun!

Currently we are faced with a disease that has killed more people than any other epidemic in our history.  The HIV/AIDS virus.  This outbreak is spreading like fire around the world. Including Africa, India, and Europe.  In addition there seems to be a new strain of Sexual Transmitted Infections coming to surface every year. Some say these viruses are a penalty for sin and immorality, “your Mama should have taught you better”. Others say that stigma should not be attached to venereal diseases. Stigma creates fear and ignorance.  I agree with the latter.   It’s just dumb to say that anyone who engages in sexual activities deserves STD. Having sex does not make you immoral, it makes us human.  I mean that’s like saying that if I built my home and it burns down I deserved it because I had a stove.  I NEED a stove to cook so I can live and I believe we need sex to survive.  Now with that said I do think that a person should be a little more selective in the choices. Do what ever floats your boat but be careful.  What’s wrong with being in a committed monogamous relationship? People can lower their chances of getting infectons by being in a faithful relationship with one partner; limiting their number of sex partners; and choosing a partner who has had no or few prior sex partners. I must add that even people with only one lifetime sex partner can get a STI, Which has nothing to do with class, status or race it’s just how it is.  We need to communicate better with our mates and partners about what expectations we expect of the relationship.  If your partner can’t give you what you need to be healthy mentally and physically well I say “cut um loose”  **two snaps in the air**

Now if I had a friend who needed my advice about STI’s, being the great Girlfriend that I am I would  be honest, loving  and tough.  I would give the following advice  to any of my friends who needed it:  Our bodies are a beautiful work of art from God.  We must love and cherish our bodies because we only get one. Look in the mirror and see who you are.  Promise your body that you will eat right, get sleep and most important be safe when if comes to sex.  If you make a mistake and catch a virus, seek help immediately.  Keeping silent about a STI like Chlamydia or Herpes can cause infertility, cervical cancer or even death. (Not a good look).

There is nothing to be ashamed about.  We all make mistakes. My Grandma use to say “hold you head high when you doing your dirt and keep it high when you walking in the light of the deed”. We all fall so go get tested and get back up again.  Real Divas face problems head on in red pumps and Gucci bags! Smooches!

Blog #4 Reading, Writing and SEX!?!?

I’m going to let you in a on a little secret but don’t tell nobody O.K……(whispering softly).

Kids know a lot more about sex that we think, because sex is everywhere!  

Oh, that’s not a shock to you?  Well it was to me.  I sat for a long time thinking of the pros and cons of Sex Education in the schools.  I mean Kids get information about sex thru many sources.  So why are we so uptight when the schools want to talk about it. The 1996 Kaiser Family Foundation Survey of teens, young teens say they currently get information about sex and birth control from several sources: Their parents (72%); teachers, school nurses (69%); their friends (60%); and TV shows or movies (53%) ). And dare I say PORN!  Yes boys and girls our sweet little children are watching porn and getting the WRONG info.  Doctors say children at the age of 4 or 5 become very curious about sex and begin to recognize the differences in the two sexes. Yet even at a later age their questions about sex don’t get answered.  Are parents afraid of saying the “O” word? Does saying the phrase V-jay jay make you run for the hills?  Sad, just sad people.  Parents have begun to pass on their responsibilities of sex education over to the media, the Internet, and porn, but oh no, never, ever to the schools.   We have a responsibility to discuss sex with their kids. However, I think that parents need help from the schools for a complete sex education.  What’s wrong with that?  School is supposed to be about education. Kids should be educated about sex and all aspects of sexuality including emotions, health, and well- being.  

   Unfortunately my mom never talked to me about sex when I was younger.  I thought it was weird but it turns out after talking to my girlfriends, most of never got “the talk” either.  It was just not talked about.  Many girls ended up pregnant and one had an abortion at 16.  Just think how many lives would have been different had the schools had the support from my parents. 

   My 9 year old is starting to ask questions about sex and I often wonder what I would say to him when the opportunity came up again.

Son:  “Mom, when does a person know they are going though puberty?

Me:  “well son It’s simple, your voice will get deeper, you will get taller and your penis will grow hair on it.

Son:  “really?  Does this happen to everyone”?

Me:  “yep”.  It part of life, this is how you know you are becoming a man.  Young girls experience similar things.  Let go to the computer and look up some information.  O.K?

Son:  O.K mom!  Let’s go.

Yikes!  I wish I could be that calm.  I’m getting cold sweats just thinking about it.  I need help from educators to ease my burden.     Children spend 8 hours a day with their teachers, talking about everything from math, science, and books.  Why not sex?  Some parents honestly believe that talking about sex will lead teens to have sex.  Hogwash!  In fact, research shows that teens who talk with their parents about sex are more likely to postpone sex and to use birth control when they do begin.  So what’s the real issue?

  At thirteen I got my first “messes” my experience was kind of surreal.   I was in school, on my way to lunch when I realized something wasn't quite right “down there”. I went to the bathroom and my friend crystal was there.  She had gotten her period the year before so she know what was happening (Thank God!) She took me to the school nurse who called my mother.  I was kind of embarrassed and scared because I didn’t want to be a woman yet. Going though puberty was not a huge deal for me but I wish I had got the correct information or ANY information for that fact.  I made a lot of mistakes as a teen luckily I didn’t get pregnant but, more than a few of my peers did.   Parents need to move from the past and come into the future where sex is not a bad thing especially when done safely. Will I tell my son this?  Absolutely.  This Sex stuff is not a game.   Parents working together with the school system to educate the younger generation could solve so many problems. Who knows maybe someday we can cure Aids and other Std’s But I guess that’s another blog.  Smooches!

Blog #3-Preventive Health

 When the stork left us in the cabbage patch we discovered an obvious difference between man and women.  We found out that our (ahem!) “parts” were a lot more delicate and special, thus requiring more preventive maintenance........okay, okay; MAYBE the cabbage patch is a stretch, the point being is we women do need to take care of ourselves a lot more because of our delicates.  Studies have shown that with regular check-ups and early detection we can reduce disease like Diabetes, heart disease and cancer by 40%.  Not to mention the cost of healthcare.  Good Health education programs can help spread the word on preventive health care.  Future hospitals are now educating adolescences about preventive health before they develop any illness. 

The National Commission on Prevention Priorities said 3,700 additional lives would be saved each year if we increased to 90 percent the portion of women age 40 and older who have been screened for breast cancer in the past 2 years. or 42,000 additional lives would be saved each year if we increased to 90 percent the portion of smokers who are advised by a health professional to quit and are offered medication or other assistance.

What preventative practices do you already implement?

well I get a mammogram every year and I started when I was 35.  I stopped eating red meat and fried foods ( i love french fries) also I excersise 30 minutes five days a week.  There are several more things I could do but Rome was not built in a day right?

How can we encourage adolescents to follow healthy behaviors?

Well, for starters we can lean to love ourselves and set the example.  Encouragement starts with us parents, teachers and mentors.  How many ads have you seen promoting the perfect butt, perfect nose, bigger burgers or more sugar in our energy drinks.  We are over stimulated, caffeine addicted, and sex crazed.  We have to go back to the basics with our youth.  Let’s turn the Television off and start talking again.  What happened to growing your own food or being an individual was the norm not the abnormal.  If I see one more reality show with these crazy mixed up teens promoting everything from sex to anorexia, I’ll scream.  Child obesity and teen pregnancy is what it says Children dealing with adult issues because of lack of education. Smooches!

You don't have the right......#2

Well, another week has passed and health care is still a hot topic in Washington.  A question was posed "Is Heath Care a right or a privilege?" That’s a very good question. Waaaay back in the day when my mother was a little girl, my sweet Great- grandma Beatrice would put some pine tar, mixed with rain water, on any cuts and bruises that she had.  She would also give her a couple teaspoons of apple cider vinegar to relive bad coughs.  Some of these remedies worked and some did not; home remedies was always a hit or miss because they had no choice. #1 good clean hospitals were segrated back then.  #2 if you did need a hospital, they were not accessible without a car.   Do I use some of these remedies? Yes,  Do I want to? No.  I do what I need to do to get by simply because I am one of the 45.7 million persons uninsured.  If you asking me if Healthcare is a right, Yea! A human right.  Unfortunately GREAT Health care is a privilege.  The working poor has increased as people struggle to keep their jobs and precious Health benefits.  They work jobs and contribute to society, but most don’t have access to good health coverage, so we wait for important procedures. Now that ain’t right!

The current state of our health care is appalling.  I’ve read stories of Patients being litterly dumped on the streets for lack of insurance.  Young children dying for lack of surgeons within certain HMO’s.  The greed and arrogance of our elected representatives is sicking, so what’s to be done?  The average person with an average job that wants average Health care, simple.  At least if we had a single payer plan we could keep some of the Trillions of dollars that pharmaceutical industry and health plan companies pocket each year.  We’ve got to take a stand and demand that congress stop playing the blame game and work on a affordable Health Care plan bill TODAY!  Health Care should be a right for all Americans. Anything less is just plain uncivilized.

#1 What health issues you are most concerned about?

For me my health issues are high cholesterol.  Heart disease and high blood pressure runs in the family.  I alway worry, am I eating right, do I get enough exercise is my blood thick.  I have a tendency to eat too much fried food and drinking water, forget about it.  I confused on what to eat and how I can lower it naturally.  I gave up Red meat, white sugar and bread so we will see what changes in the  months to come.

I Interview a few of my friends about their health concerns and this is the results I got:

My Girlfriend Tomika is concerned about weight gain.  She had a baby a year ago and gained 60 pounds. That is a lot of weight but I assured her that with a steady diet of healthy foods and exercise with cardio 4 days a week she could lose the weight before the end of 2010.  We both have a habit of eating too may sweets and hi carb foods. She expressed how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off.  Tomika has tried diet pills, shakes, fasting and jenny craig.

My Neighbor, Gail is concerned about cancer.  She is convinced that the water, the food and our homes are covered with things that cause cancer.  I asked if she had cancer in her family and she told me her cousin from California has Breast cancer that is in remission.  Gail has not started her yearly Mammograms yet so I'm not sure if she has a valid reason to worry.

Well it's a wrap.....

The first week of school is almost finished and I survived.  I felt so much anxiety this week from the job, the kids and let's not even talk about the family drama.  I pray for a more serene week two.  (Please Jesus!)