Blog #12 God bless Miss Mary

When I was a young girl we had our share of people who were mentally ill in the neighborhood.  There was “Troy” who got a hold of some bad PCP in “the Nam” so as a result he talks to some invisible person out loud.  “Jeffery’, who was a chronic kleptomaniac.  He would steal everything and anything that was not nailed down like Lenny on the TV show Good Times.  Hell, he stole some lady’s wig one time then sold it back to her the following week.  (True story, I swear).  

But the most memorable person on my block with a Mental illness was Miss Mary.  She had a nervous break down when I was 11 years old.  Miss Mary never came outside with anything on but a silk slip and some hair rollers.  The rumor was that her husband drove her insane, because of infidelity.  All I know is one day she was this stylish, well-spoken diva of a woman, and the next day she was a broken vessel. She was a hot mess.  She would brandish kitchen knives to run us off her lawn.  She even threw a whiskey bottle at her daughter because she refused to water the artificial flowers in the front yard.  Now to a 4^th grader this stuff is kind of scary.  I liked Miss Mary.  She use to give us gum and peppermint from her purse on Sundays and I played “Barbies” with her daughter on several occasions.  As I got older I realized that mental breakdowns could happen to anyone.  Stress, depression, emotional trauma or anxiety can trigger it.   Get help and reducing stress can prevent any outbursts of madness.  What sad id Miss Mary could have gotten help.  She was young too.  Her family turned their backs on her because of the stigma in the Black culture.  “Black people don’t need a therapist” were the words echoed time and time again in my ears as I questioned people like Miss Mary.  

By seeking mental help; my family shunned it thinking it to be a sign of weakness or test of faith.  I’m glad I am learning new things in my major Family Studies, so I can help family members and people like Miss Mary.  Even though I don’t know where she is I know that God is watching over her.  Be healthy yawl…. Smooches.

Blog# 11...Women in the mirror.

I had several classmates ask me where I got the Idea in blog # 9 “50 days to a healthier you”.  Well I’m a big fan of essence magazine, which is a fashion magazine for the African American women although I know plenty of my sisters from another mother have read it and love it.  Anyway, I believe the earlier in the year essence had an article that encourages women to “clean house” so to speak in our lives.  Have a better love life, better finances, health and education.  I’ve always felt that it was a good idea to spring clean not only our homes every year but also our lives.  While cleaning out my closet, I make sure my ties have been rotated.  While I’m dusting the rugs I update my will…etc, etc ……get it?  We as women get so hung up on taking care of everyone else we don’t stop long enough to see about ourselves. Or handle our “Bizness”  I have achieved some of my goal but I still have a long way to go.    My weight loss challenge to my self has sparked weight loss challenges in two of my closest friends so, now when we hit the town we have each other’s back as far as eating well.  No more two pieces and a biscuit, now we graze on grilled chicken with mango salsa and brown rice.  Try it……. it’s fabulous.

If I all could see into the future it would look kind of bleak for me.  Hell, this is the future!  African Americans have more disease, disability, and early death than whites.   As I look in the mirror I see myself getting older but I still look good (thank you very much!)  I see the future of myself from the past decisions I have made.  I’m not a drinker but studies have shown that of you have glasses of red wine a day it helps to boost your immunity, and help prevent bone loss so, I’ll have a glass once a week.  Hell I might even visit a vineyard this year, I’ve always wanted to.  I never smoked but I found it interesting that if you quit smoking after a year that it can reduce your risk of coronary heart disease by half that of a smoker.  That’s pretty good odds I’d say.  Oh and let’s talk obesity, just losing 10% of your current weight can increased energy levels, Lower your cholesterol levels, reduce your blood pressure and reduced aches and pains (yes lawd!), I can defiantly benefit from weight loss.  I’m starting to feel better already. .  So let’s all look in the mirror now for our future selves.  Make your own challenges for your health…….Life is short yawl, don’t take the bus…..walk!....Smooches.


I thought you might enjoy Michael Jackson's "man in the Mirror"

Blog #10 Money and Health go hand in hand

A healthy lifestyle depends on many factors, a balance diet, regular exercise, and a healthy mind. Some of us have a better grip on the latter than others but that’s another blog. Even just the little diet decisions are difficult; I can count on my hands and toes the tough food choice assessments I made while standing in the produce aisle. Some of us struggle with less money in our monthly budget, so in turn we tend to cut corners in areas like food to pay for basic necessities like rent or utilities, food becomes a second priority unfortunately. Influences in a healthy life styles have a lot to do with ones economic status in my opinion. Lots of women struggle with eating well and exercising. Stress also plays a key role in the fight to stay fit. If you are dealing with low pay, higher prices, and poor health, stress takes things to a higher level. I think that women who come from a higher social status take better care of their bodies because of the stress of making ends meet is not on their well tanned shoulders. Some higher economic women have in home chefs (Oprah!) to make balanced meals. They have private trainers to work on problem areas and lipo surgery at their disposal at anytime. The average woman that idolizes these women work a 9-9 with 2 ½ children attached their hips.

Also lower income women experiencing financial stress can be more likely to numb their problems by overdrinking, smoking, and overeating, which causes more health problems. Less cash causes a problem with putting food on the table finding time to exercise while working 2 jobs, and it’s hard to eat better when you have 30 minutes to get from one gig to the other. Also, have you been to the grocery store lately? The affordable food is not on sale it’s the crap and the stuff I wrestle out of my children hands every week. It’s brown hamburger meat and super sugar crispies stuff. And getting FRESH produce every time, forget about it! I got a riddle for you that someone emailed me awhile back.

Why is Tommy in the hospital?

Because he has a bad infection in his leg. 


But why does he have an infection?

Because he has a cut on his leg and it got infected.

But why does he have a cut on his leg? 


Because he was playing in dirty park and there was some jagged steel there that he fell on. 


But why was he playing in a dirty park? 


Because his neighborhood is kind of run down

But why does he live in that neighborhood? 


Because his mom can't afford a nicer place to live. 


But why can't his mom afford a nicer place to live?

Because his Mom is sick and working part time. 


But why is his Mom sick? 


Because she doesn’t live a healthy life style....... it was written a little different but you get the point right?

I don’t propose to change to world with this blog, and being the realist that I am, I know hundreds of women will die every year as a direct result of a unhealthy lifestyle, i.e. smoking, obesity, high cholesterol, lack of decent medical care, and mental illness just to name a few. My prayer is that the women I know and love continue or get started on the road to a better lifestyle.........Life is not a rehearsal yawl, you only get one chance to shine.

BLOG 9 **HELLO MY NAME IS DESI AND I AM A FOODIE***

I an on day 37 of my 50 days to a better me. Well one of my problem areas is eating healthy and exercising regularly. One of my many challenges is to eat better. I am totally addicted to sugar and it’s in everything….lawd help me. In my brain I want eat better. But my body has a different agenda. When I was growing up we did everything centered around food. Hey aunt lill is getting married let’s have cake, cousin Juan got out of prison let’s have ribs, uncle ray had heart surgery, let’s have pie. This is a habit that I have had all my life. It going to take strong will power to change this habit. But I am encouraged. I guess I get bored or overwhelmed because I will go for a period of time where I eat healthy, and then suddenly it's like bam. I grab a handful of candy or buy a bag of chips and just scarf it down. I hope this is not the beginning of an eating disorder. Yikes!

Another challenge for me is that it’s hard to find the motivation and energy to exercise after working 60 hours a week. It is dark when I go to work and it is dark when I get home. With my two kids it sometimes gets hard finding time to fit it in. Not to mention I have a knee problem. By the time the kids get to bed, I'm ready for sleep myself! I realized that when it comes to self-improvement, in particularly about health, I am a big PROCRASTINATOR. Oh and I hate exercise. To remedy this I started parking far from the door so I could walk. I Take an extra long walk with the dog so I can fit in exercise I next five years I hope to be at a healthy weight. I added up how much I would weigh if I continued on the path of laziness. If I gain from 2-5 pound in 5 years I would have gained 10- 25lbs!...OMG! That’s a lot of weight for my frame. Right now I’m not happy but I am on my way to a healthy way of life. My next challenge is to buy less shoes….one day at a time yawl.