#8 The big "M"

As I reach my late 40’s I look forward to certain things.  My boys going to high school then college, having the house to myself, becoming wiser and best of all, no more monthly periods..…Yay! I looo-ve being a woman 21 days of the month but the rest of the days can be gone!  Well, the flip side to having no more periods is I will be experiencing the big “M” or Menopause.  Now from what I’ve read, Menopause it’s not going to be a walk in the park or a 70% off shoe sale at Macys.  No this crossroad is going to be rough ride. I feel kind of cheated because I went though my monthly cycles like a champ, I had a sufficient amount of rug rats, and then I chilled, waiting on my “Meno-prize”.  I think I deserve get some type of incentive prize after 37 years of “Aunt flow”.  I don’t even have to be that special.  A little weight loss like, let’s say 40lbs, Maybe some tropical vacation or better yet NO MORE PERIODS.  I swear this is how I know God has a sense of humor. He gives us period free bliss for the second half, but at a price.  Payment is due in the form of Menopause around 45-55 years old.  Before we talk about how to cope with the big “M” Let’s talk about what Menopause is. 

Menopause is a normal condition that women experience as we age. The term is commonly used to describe any of the changes a woman experiences either just before or after she stops menstruating, marking the end of her reproductive period. Some women go though Perimenopause, which typically begins several years before menopause,  that’s when the ovaries gradually produce less estrogen. 

Menopause is about much more than losing your period.  It’s the end of your fertility, which some ladies may welcome, but for others the end of making babies can be a major bummer.  Many women struggle with emotional symptoms that can be overwhelming.  The of sudden feeling of "old lady" hangs around the neck like a yoke. As a society we must change certain attitudes about menopause. Menopause is not an illness or ailment. It happens to every woman so stigmatizing it is wrong.   Menopause is not the end of your life.  It should be celebrated.

with the use of media outlets organizations like the Red Hot Mamas provides education, support, understanding, hope and optimism through their website. http://www.redhotmamas.org/  They spread  informative info and love for women who need support.  Men can help also be being understanding and supportive to their partners. They can be more understanding of their partners’s sex drive.  Sex could have changed slightly as she experiences a slower loss of testosterone. Also be aware that emotional changes are likely to occur and that they are not to blame for them but that their partner may require extra attention, love and outward expressions of caring more now than ever before.

With more open-minded health-care practitioners and women who see menopause as a natural transition society can change it’s beliefs about menopause.  Who know maybe we will get a female president that will grant my invective prizes......... I'll wait. 

Blog#6 Sex Talk With Grown Friends

Immorality:

Noun

He charged that the overseas press was prone to lies and immorality: wickedness, immoral behavior, badness, evil, vileness, corruption, dishonesty, dishonorableness; sinfulness, ungodliness, unchastity, sin…..sounds like fun!

Currently we are faced with a disease that has killed more people than any other epidemic in our history.  The HIV/AIDS virus.  This outbreak is spreading like fire around the world. Including Africa, India, and Europe.  In addition there seems to be a new strain of Sexual Transmitted Infections coming to surface every year. Some say these viruses are a penalty for sin and immorality, “your Mama should have taught you better”. Others say that stigma should not be attached to venereal diseases. Stigma creates fear and ignorance.  I agree with the latter.   It’s just dumb to say that anyone who engages in sexual activities deserves STD. Having sex does not make you immoral, it makes us human.  I mean that’s like saying that if I built my home and it burns down I deserved it because I had a stove.  I NEED a stove to cook so I can live and I believe we need sex to survive.  Now with that said I do think that a person should be a little more selective in the choices. Do what ever floats your boat but be careful.  What’s wrong with being in a committed monogamous relationship? People can lower their chances of getting infectons by being in a faithful relationship with one partner; limiting their number of sex partners; and choosing a partner who has had no or few prior sex partners. I must add that even people with only one lifetime sex partner can get a STI, Which has nothing to do with class, status or race it’s just how it is.  We need to communicate better with our mates and partners about what expectations we expect of the relationship.  If your partner can’t give you what you need to be healthy mentally and physically well I say “cut um loose”  **two snaps in the air**

Now if I had a friend who needed my advice about STI’s, being the great Girlfriend that I am I would  be honest, loving  and tough.  I would give the following advice  to any of my friends who needed it:  Our bodies are a beautiful work of art from God.  We must love and cherish our bodies because we only get one. Look in the mirror and see who you are.  Promise your body that you will eat right, get sleep and most important be safe when if comes to sex.  If you make a mistake and catch a virus, seek help immediately.  Keeping silent about a STI like Chlamydia or Herpes can cause infertility, cervical cancer or even death. (Not a good look).

There is nothing to be ashamed about.  We all make mistakes. My Grandma use to say “hold you head high when you doing your dirt and keep it high when you walking in the light of the deed”. We all fall so go get tested and get back up again.  Real Divas face problems head on in red pumps and Gucci bags! Smooches!